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Discipline: LD/Endurance, CMO, Trail Rider, Cartoonist, Writer, Co-Director/ Green Bean Endurance

December 26, 2015

BUCK (and me)

Though the documentary Buck has been out for some time, today was the day that I finally took the time to watch it.  Let's say the film had plenty to say to me, about the past, overcoming, being better than your collective history.  It also brought up a lot of "stuff" for me personally as his upbringing before foster care could have been the story of my family, the alcoholic parent, the abuse, the fear.  He sure overcame a lot.    Sometimes I think that I did too, but others there is still a large looming shadow that persists even as I edge closer to the ripe age of sixty.  So if you haven't seen the film, and you had a background of abuse, it will take you on a little spin into the past, like it or not.  It also made me think a lot about TRUST.

Trust how it relates to my human interactions (not well actually) and my horses.   It mades me wonder if that low hum of anxious trepidation concerning my human experience transmits to my horses.   I'm quite certain that it does.   I've never quite ever been able to leave myself open to trusting fully any one person.  The closest I come to that is with my dogs (because dogs ARE so openly trustworthy and forgiving).  With our horses we clearly have to work for it, and if you have a weakness, horses are quite good at laying it bare for you to see.  They teach us.   They mirror us.   They reveal that which is broken in us.   Sometimes to fix them, we must first fix "us."


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