Journey's Vacation Ends Sunday

The Spotted Wonder's period of rest and relaxation will come to an end on Sunday.   I am hoping to get out and about with her and work on training issues.   We gain some ground, we lose some ground.   Since I have about five months before we shoot for anything again I'd like to ride to maintain fitness, without wearing her out.  So I'll probably do short sessions through the week and try to have one long ride on her each weekend just to keep us from reinventing the wheel.  A part of me is a little bit adrenaline junky, and I believe that is part and parcel with becoming / being an endurance rider.  The experience is very intense, and at times difficult.   I don't know...you just feel like you climbed Mount Everest or something when you get done (or you get all whiny and fussy like I did this last time).  After a night's sleep though you could not wipe the smile from my face, and the glow persisted through "most" of the week.  Now, the fix wants fed again.  I want to do more, go more, compete more, up my level of difficulty, see what I'm capable of.    It isn't in the budget.  But I am trying to brainstorm on how to hang onto enough this year, to maybe work out having a good year next year.

I've been offered a horse.  A horse that had one very good season of endurance, and would qualify us to participate in the Appaloosa Distance program.  This horse is one that I've honestly longed to have, but the only way I could do that would be to give up Phebes.   I simply can't afford or balance the responsibility of four horses.  I'm lucky to get one ridden, and Phebes always ends up falling to the wayside, as I love her, but I don't enjoy the job she is able to do (Pleasure).  LSEGH is very attached to her and God only knows why as she is horrid towards him.  The offer has made me feel so conflicted.  I'll just be honest, I want this mare.  She is eleven, she is known for being an uncomplicated ride, she gets the job done, it would open up my little endurance dream in ways I'd never ever anticipated.     I feel honored really to have had this offer open up to me.  This woman has watched  (in person) my little sojourn through endurance, my growth, and Journey's. She is a very accomplished endurance rider.    But then, who would care for Phebes?  Put her eye medicine in regularly when she needs it, not feed her grain, keep things low key for her.  Would it be like when I parted with Gallie Joe, and I dreamed he was standing in a lot starving for fifteen years or more.  Waking up in the night with my heart pounding, feeling helpless, not knowing where he was or if he was cared for.     It is a huge gynormous conflict.  Then there is Journey, would she then fall through the cracks?  I'm really proud of my little spotted wonder.  She's the horse that Jacke has built, and that has always been my way.   To take a project in hand and see what shakes out of that, and Journey has been shaking pretty good if I can manage her health vs. a drug free competition requirement.

But you know what?  I'm just going to take it a day at a time, and put it out to the universe and see if the answer comes back to me in some obvious way.  Like some wonderful person calls and says I can give Phebes a forever home, a loving and low stress life, and they have an arm length list of references, and we sell the farm, downsize, and opportunity beckons...who knows.   Who knows.