May 4, 2010

The Ten Commandments according to an Arabian Endurance Horse

#1 I am the arabian, brought out of the land of Egypt, out of some Sheik's stable, and you won't find any horse to out endure me.

#2. I am the arabian, you shall not make a carved image of me or any likeness of me, trade for a gaited horse, or anything that resembles a horse. If you do it will be a horse of no less than a fourth generation racing arabian. No mercy will be bestowed on the iniquity of riding a mule.

#3. You shall not take the name of your arabian in vain. Even when I spin, spook, head twirl, bug my eyes out at the same tree stump for the 400th time, and turn my nose up at the water tank and refuse to eat.

4 Remember the Sabbath day, holy moly....you ride my tail off six days of the week, and call me an endurance horse on Sunday, what'sup with that? Go to church for heaven's sake and give me a day off!

5 Honor your father and your mother, while you are doing that I get Mother's Day and Father's day weekends off too.

6 You shall not murder the vet, he is at the ride for my greater welfare.

7 You shall not buy a backup arabian unless I've gone lame and it is time for my retirement. In which case I'll suddenly be sound, run like the wind, and you'll be feeding two of us.

8 You shall not steal a front running arabian from your neighbor's pasture, no matter how many turtle awards I bring home.

9 You shall not bear false witness against an arabian. Talk all you want about those other breeds. I'm pretty and you know it.

10 You shall not covet your neighbor's Euro-lite specialized saddle; you shall not covet your neighbor's 4-horse living quarters, nor his hired help that shovels the barn, nor his servant that cleans the house, nor white rail fence, nor his four imported polish arabians, nor anything that is your neighbor's.”

My bad ~E.G.

3 comments:

  1. Heeeeyyyy! You deserve miles and miles of jigging for #2 there!

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  2. Funder,

    *LOL* Maybe that's why I get "jigged". You gaited people have got it made!

    ~E.G.

    ReplyDelete