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Discipline: LD/Endurance, CMO, Trail Rider, Cartoonist, Writer, Co-Director/ Green Bean Endurance

February 1, 2014

The Ridiculous Side of Endurance

Things I've experienced, heard about, or witnessed during an endurance riding event.  Please don't ask for sources.  Even if it might have been me, I'm not fessing up.

  • Man on a 100 mile desert ride decides he needs a little visit with nature for # 2.  He gets him self all settled in to go and hears this disturbing "rattle" in the bush near him.  The horse hears it too, and heads for dodge (smart horse), man is left waddling with his drawers down trying to escape the rattler.   

  • The hose incident.  New rider, new water tank on the back of the truck, new green water hose attached.  Newbie gets to the ride, attaches the hose, sticks the end in the bucket and waits, AND WAITS.   No water.  Newbie shakes and bangs the hose and repositions it into the bucket, waits, waits some more.  Nothing, nada, zip, ZERO.  Newbie climbs back up into truck and shoves a rock under back edge of water tank, scurries down peering helplessly into bucket.  Not. A. Drop.  Newbie grabs the hose and has a light bulb moment!  Siphon!  That is what  Dad would have done God Rest his SOUL.   Newbie begins sucking on the green water hose, shaking the hose, and sucking on the hose some more.  Newbie turns wondrous colors of deep pink drawing deeply on the hose.  No water in the bucket even though a serious cramp has started ticking in the muscles of her face.  Out of desperation, newbie shuffles to the neighboring camp site to ask what they know about water tanks.  Experienced rider with a very calm expression walks over to truck, and slides the little black "on" lever, to the "on" position.

  • Exotic animal veterinarian galloping down the endurance trail while on cell phone gives treatment instructions to a client.
  • At the awards ceremony a female rider gives an almost lap dance on the way up to get her "prize", she gets a dollar bill tucked into the waistband of her jeans.
 What has happened to you on the ridiculous side of endurance?

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