Those of you who have followed this blog for five, six, or maybe seven years know the full story. Where I started from with an eighteen year old green broke brood mare, raising her filly, putting the filly under saddle, and moving toward a goal of distance riding. Certainly I am not a mainstream competitor. We live a very frugal lifestyle out of necessity, and the big budget item in our lives consume a lot of hay and stuff. As the snow has stacked up to about seven inches in depth I got weary beading and fell to contemplation instead. I realize how lucky I am to have The Spotted Wonder, and though Phebes did not take me to my destination, she did get me pointed there, and I learned so many things from her, albeit mostly the hard way. When it became evident that Phebes didn't seem to be able to cope with the stress of training and competition, I fell hard. I equate it with a little death. Flailing in my own misery, the crumbling of my confidence, finally rejecting the thing that in so many ways defines the person that I am. For a year or so I languished, enjoying some new adventures, but it was like the person that I am had decayed and gone to dust. Pulling the Spotted Wonder out of mothballs at least as it relates to a distance ride was one of the hardest things I've ever done. In truth I had my doubts that Journey could be a good LD horse, let alone actually complete an endurance ride. My failures concerning my horses cut me deeply. I'm constantly balancing and experience a conflict concerning what I am doing with the welfare of the animal that didn't sign up for the ride. Journey truly amazed and humbled me with what I realize is an aptitude to do great things. Not someone else's great thing, rather my version of greatness, to have a horse work with you and carry you over a long distance which has no meaning for the horse at all really, but on they go. Yes, it is humbling going from ashes to aspirations.
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