Today the conversation drifted to the word expectations and what expectations mean in life. It is my opinion that expectations often follow with disappointment. Why? Because expectations are not real. Expectations are fantasy of what you believe is going to happen. Expectations and reality are different things. I doubt our horses are burdened with too many expectations (unless it is seeking a cookie from my pocket), or water in the tank.
Much of my own spontaneous (goal) combustion results from my own expectations. I'm going to attempt a shift in my overall philosophy when dealing with my horses. For instance going to the Ground to Cow Clinic this weekend. My "expectation" is to get there and back safely. Whatever else positive that should occur is "gravy" but I'm not going to set up my mind with grandious thoughts. Journey after all won't be having any of those. Her thoughts will be running more like "oh! a horse! I'm really herd bound...anxious anxious anxious oh! another horse! Let's go over there. OH! there's that woman again! Move my hip, move my hip, wasn't I thinking about a horse? OH! I shouldn't do that...that woman is askng me to do this...but OH! OH! OH!
I'm learning that living in today doesn't only mean today. It is right this minute, right now, this second. Every training opportunity will not necessarily be a "productive" session. I have bad days, my horse has bad days. Not her fault, not mine. It's just the way it is. So this weekend we go, we camp, we eat, we meet new friends...how is that for expectations? ~ E.G.
I'm the same way. I have long-term hopes, but I think it's way more important, for me, to enjoy each moment as it comes and not get caught up in doing A to make it to B which leads to C...
ReplyDeleteI love this and I feel the same way...you said it much more graceful than I would have. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm the happiest with my horse when we're just enjoying each other but it took me 2ish years to get there. I used to get sooo upset that I wasn't showing him or we didn't trailer out for trail rides every weekend. But then I realized that I didn't really want to do those but a lot of other people want that so I felt like I had to.
Funny thing is that I've gotten Grayson sooo much further with my new peace of him being a backyard horse. There's no longer some sort of weird self-imposed pressure which makes us both feel better and more eager to learn. :)
Well said though!
I've been on the treadmill so long, so focused on succeeding in LD that I lost all of my joy. In self reflection, Phebes didn't have a chance. I could see the goal but not anything else.
ReplyDeleteMy new horse was named Journey for a reason. That is what having horses is really about, what it used to be about before I got so driven. I hope each time her name falls from my lips that I can remember that the journey is what it's all about. You can only reach the destination one step at a time. I hope to enjoy the vista's, the sunrise, the sounds and smells of horses, the partnership this time round. But even that is an expectation...today it was the yield, the licking of lips, the nice back up, the feet that stop moving when I lay down the rope. It felt GOOD. ~ E.G.
I've heard Pat Parelli say that you want to be able to say to your horse, "Was it as good for you as it was for me." I think if you keep that goal in mind, you will go farther than you ever expected and both you and your horse will enjoy the process.
ReplyDeleteIf you both don't enjoy the experience (journey) then what's the point?