Contact information:

Discipline: LD/Endurance, CMO, Trail Rider, Cartoonist, Writer, Co-Director/ Green Bean Endurance
Email: jackereynolds@yahoo.com


July 25, 2011

Endurance Rider: Tack-a-nality

Let it be said that what piles up in the endurance rider's tack room may be directily and seriously related to personality.  So what does your "tack-a-nality" say about you?

Saddle pads:  The rider who stocks up on saddle pads may have a festering and underlying "I think I'm too fat" for this horse thought disorder.  Insecure in their weight and the expected result on Old Nobbin's back...they resort to saddle pad purchases.  Ortho pads, Weight Distribution pads, Cooling Pads, Therapeutic wool, and saddle pad liners that further protect the horse from the rider who is at least 20% above normal BMI.

Hoof boots: An overflowing collection of Epics, Gloves, Renegades, Old Mac's, and Simple Boots all indicate a tack-a-nality that feels that size matters.  So if they prop Old Nobbin up another half inch, suddenly they can push the short stocky little CMK to just.......almost..........a  15 hander.  A set of insert pads??? Baby they're there!

Beta and biothane:  This tack-a-nality is scattered.  They may have trouble focusing on one horse, one trail, or one day.  In fact...they may have trouble deciding on today's sandwich.  Wheat or Rye?  Wheat or Rye?  OH!!! Is that oat bread?

Saddles:  Oh honey...did you hear about the neighbors....they bought?  This tack-a-nality leans towards envy.  The neighbor has one, so we need one too.  There are a lot of neighbors in ride camp. Saddles fill up the tack room, and may indeed overflow the the tack room.   The see it, they test ride it, they buy it.

Helmet Covers:  If every time you see their head bobbing down the trail it is a new delightful but stretchy color the tack-a-nality may be due to an over-enlarged ego.  Yes ladies, she might just have the big head.  She knows it, but is trying hard to repress it.  But there it is...flashing like a neon light. 

Bits:  The tack-a-nality of the bit collector indicates a rider who feels a loss of control in their life.  Has little to do with the horse, just a FREAKING LOSS OF CONTROL.  Period.

Water Bottles:  This tack-a-nality is covering up a deeper seated problem (a drinking problem).

Sponges:  The sponge collector's tack-a-nality is kinky.  Just plain "kinky."  So kinky we aren't going to talk about it.

Riding crops:  See sponges. In fact spongers and croppers may ride together ...ewwwwwwwwww!

Just sayin'

~E.G.

3 comments:

  1. This is hilarious! I'm definitely in the bit category. Not only am I obsessed with bits, but your description actually fits me. LOL.

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  2. Unfortunately...I'm overweight, underhorsed, and SERIOUSLY scattered.

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  3. round here we could add blankets - sweat blankets, rain blankets,fly blankets, stall blankets, winter/summer/midweight - you name it you can have a blanket for every occasion - and at this time of year all they do for your horse is make em sweat!

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